Managing Anger


The Hulk
Denis Giles, via Flickr

Liz Waid and Joshua Leo look at how people act when they feel anger. They also look at ways to manage anger, and take control of emotions.

Transcript


Voice 1

Welcome to Spotlight. I’m Liz Waid.

Voice 2

And I’m Joshua Leo. Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.

Voice 1

Every person feels angry at some time. But they may not know how to deal with it. Today’s Spotlight is on managing your anger. With the right tools, every person can deal with the feeling of anger.

Voice 2

Dr. Bruce Banner was a scientist who worked with dangerous chemicals and radiation. One day one of his experiments went terribly wrong! A nuclear bomb exploded and radiation flooded the area. But Bruce did not die. Instead he began to have super-human powers! He could do things that no other person could do.

Voice 1

On a normal day Bruce looked and acted just like any other person. But when he became angry, Bruce changed. He became a frightening creature called “The Hulk.” The Hulk had green skin. He was over two meters tall. And he weighed over 475 kilograms. When Bruce turned into the Hulk, his anger ruled over him. The Hulk would fight. And he would destroy things.

Voice 2

After the Hulk became calm, he changed again. He returned to his usual human form as Bruce the scientist. Sometimes Bruce would feel regret about the things he had done as the Hulk.

Voice 1

This story is not real. It is from a popular comic story book. However, even though it is not real, people feel like they already know it. They understand it because everyone knows what it is like to feel anger. Everyone knows what it is like to want to hurt someone, or destroy something because they are angry.

Voice 2

Anger is not a bad or evil emotion. It is usually healthy to feel anger. It is a natural reaction to fears or pressure from our environment. When people show anger because of injustice, or unfairness, it shows that they care about the people around them. And this anger can lead people to make good changes in their own lives and the lives of other people.

Voice 1

But sometimes the way a person reacts to anger can be bad. When some people become very angry, they over-react. They shout at others and say things that they do not really mean. Or they lose control of their actions and become very violent. They may try to hurt others. But there are some simple ways to deal with anger. And anyone can use these methods.

Voice 2

One way to deal with anger is to count before you say or do anything. It seems like a simple idea - maybe too simple. But taking a short break to count can be a very effective way to manage anger. If you feel angry, try counting to ten. If you are really angry you could count to fifty or one hundred. Count for however long it takes you to feel calm again. You can also take long, deep breaths.

Voice 1

Some people also stay calm by imagining a calm situation. Imagine sitting next to a river, or in a peaceful field. Repeating calming words can also have this effect. If you are angry say words to yourself like ‘relax’ or ‘I am staying calm.’

Voice 2

Staying calm is a very effective method for dealing with anger. That is because anger can become very intense very quickly. Anger can easily begin to control a person. But, by staying calm, a person can start to control his anger instead.

Voice 1

Another simple method for dealing with anger is to exercise or take a short walk. Anger affects the body. It raises your blood pressure. It can increase your heart rate. But you can use your energy for physical activity instead of being angry. Doctors say that a person’s brain releases chemicals during physical activity. These chemicals make people feel happier and calmer.

Voice 2

Avoiding the thing that makes you angry could also be a solution. A person cannot avoid everything that makes him angry. But, if he can avoid some things, he can avoid some anger!

Voice 1

These are all simple and immediate ways to control anger. But for more complex problems, you will need a more complex solution. The best way to manage anger is by dealing with it directly - you must learn to express your anger in a healthy and helpful way.

Voice 2

Expressing yourself when you are very angry can be difficult. But it can also be very helpful. When people can express their needs, they feel like they are solving the problem. They feel better about themselves. And most importantly, they are taking control of their own emotions. They are reacting to their anger in a good way.

Voice 1

But there are things people should remember when they express their needs when angry. First, stay calm when you are expressing yourself. Experts suggest that a person thinks before he speaks. It is easy to say hurtful words. But, words can be extremely damaging to a relationship. It is also important to be clear and direct when you express yourself. If you have a need, be sure to tell the other person. You should also show respect to the other person.

Voice 2

It is also important not to blame other people. Blaming other people can lead to arguing and fighting. Instead, people should express their anger by saying what they are feeling. For example, if a person is angry, she should use “I statements”. These are simple sentences that state how a person feels. For example, you should not say “You never help me clean the home”! Instead, you could say “I am angry that you did not offer to help me clean the home”.

Voice 1

When people are expressing their anger, they should remember to think about the other people who are involved in the situation. Try to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view. Often, when people look at a situation in this way, they can admit that they are not always being fair. People can admit that their anger is not being helpful. People cannot always control what other people do or what happens around them. But people can control the way they react!

Voice 2

These are all ways to deal with normal every-day anger. They may not work for someone with a serious anger problem, or a medical mental problem. In these cases, it is important to find help. This may mean talking to a doctor. Or it may mean talking to an understanding friend. But do not let your anger build up inside of you! As a person once said:

Voice 3

“It is not good for me to hold on to anger. I am the only one that it is really hurting.”

Voice 2

The writer and producer of this program was Liz Waid. The voices you heard were from the United States. All quotes have been adapted for this program and voiced by Spotlight. You can hear this program again, and read it, on the internet at www.radioenglish.net. This program is called “Managing Anger.”

Voice 1

You can also leave a comment on our website. Or you can email us at radio@radioenglish.net. We hope you can join us again for the next Spotlight program. Goodbye!

Some of the music in this program came from Podington Bear.

Question:

How do you deal with your anger? Do you have an anger problem?

Comments


Avatar Spotlight
Phuc
said on August 30, 2011

Anger is only a spark from a fire. 
I feel angry because of everything not to my liking.  I let my anger build up inside of me. I want to vent my spite on another one. I want to hurt another one. When I do these things I hurt myself because a spark from a fire becoming the big fire inside of me. I burn myself before I can burn another one.

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Manh Tu
said on September 04, 2011

I hurt myself when I hurt somebody. I often regret for the things I have done after the angry is gone. Thank Spotlight very much for the useful advice. Now, I can control my angry better.

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Narath
said on October 01, 2011

Thank you so much for give me these methods to deal with anger . You know when I feel angry I do not say anything and keep quiet then I go to the toilet or quiet place to speak to myself or crying because I cannot say it out in front of the person who makes me feel angry during I am anger . I do agree with one of the sentences in this program said “It is not good for me to hold on to anger . I am the only one that it is really hurting “. You know I lost my weight 3kg because I hold on my anger , it was eating myself .

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LOLLY
said on October 08, 2011

I can’t control on myself when iam angry.I know it’s a bad thing .so,it’s very useful suggestions for me .thank’s alot.

Sultan's avatar
Sultan
said on February 09, 2014

“I’m really angry at Mom because she won’t let me go to the party until I clean my room. It’s not fair!”.......Anger is a strong emotion. It can feel overwhelming at times. Learning how to deal with strong emotions….Sometimes when you’re angry, you just need to stop dwelling on how mad you are. Thank you spotlight Radio, Liz Waid, and Joshua Leo.

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PakaAnka
said on May 19, 2016

Hello Spotlight.

On my daily work activities I must deal with difficult situation that could change my feeling. When a bad ssituation appear I try to think in a positive way, I set my mind to accept the current situation because the time pass and I will be in my home in the night together my family.

Thanks for share this subject with us. Blessing my friends.

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kenhieuloilam
said on May 19, 2016

The life has difficulties. We try much to live our lives well. We learn and train. Living a beautiful good life brings us meaning. We experience difficulties. We try much to overcome difficulties. Difficulties may be big to us. We may learn from everyone to overcome difficulties. Difficulties are big. We make much effort to overcome difficulties. Overcoming difficulties is important. We help each other overcome difficulties.

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Dela
said on May 19, 2016

Surely, keeping the anger in the mind appears as harmfull considerably for our physical health because it sometimes can result in serious heart attack eventually.
We cannot avoid completely the things making us angry, neverthless all of us should try to find the methods for managing anger and dealing with it effectively.
Particularly, we should never blame other people saying the bad, hurtful words which can be extremely damaging to a relationship. We mustn’t forget a fact if we do not restrain our negative emotions we will certainly harm ourselves seriously!
Thanks Spotlight team for interesting theme!
Greetings!

Kaleb Kolaibi's avatar
Kaleb Kolaibi
said on May 19, 2016

In my nature, I am a calm person and rarely I angry. When I angry I resort to Bible and prayer.
Respect

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GoT
said on June 08, 2016

Most of the time I just stop talking when I am angry. Talking when I am furious is make me angrier.  Finally, it is ended by shouting to others and hurting by bad words. I can’t express my idea why I get angry him/her in a good way . But I become calm and realize that the reason why I get angry was littlie problem if I stay silent. So I tell people Please, just leave me alone. Give me some time to calm.
There is an another way of stay calm. Sometimes, I smoke when I get angry. It is better than hurting people by bad words.

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huyquoc
said on June 28, 2016

thank spotlight to help me to deal with anger. i thing, those methods can help someones to control anger.
when i feel angry , i always stop talking, take a deep breath and think another things. i don’t want my anger to hurt someones i care. My be my moon, my father , my brother, my sister and my friends.