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Five Love Languages: Physical Touch

16 January, 2012
Holding hands
Holding hands
Photo Credit: By Vicki Nunn, Public Domain

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Voice 1

Welcome to Spotlight. I'm Adam Navis.

Voice 2

And I'm Marina Santee. Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.

Voice 1

For many years, a man named Dr. Chapman has studied how people communicate love to each other. And he has found that not all people feel and receive love in the same way. Dr. Chapman says that people speak different love languages. In earlier programs, we talked about the first four love languages. Today's Spotlight is on the fifth love language: touch.

Voice 2

Ana* often had trouble sleeping. When she tried to sleep, many thoughts came into her mind. She thought about what she had done that day. She thought about what she had to do the next day. She found that she could not quieten her mind. Her mind was never at rest.

Voice 1

But, there was one thing that helped Ana fall asleep. It was her husband's touch. You see, when Ana could not sleep her husband took her hand into his. He would rub her hand. The feeling helped Ana's mind to relax. Ana's husband rubbed her hand until she began to fall asleep.

Voice 2

This small touch may not seem very important. But, for Ana her husband's touch represented true love.

Dr Chapman believes that to really express love to others, you must know their love language. It is important to know how they most feel love. Dr. Chapman describes the love languages is his book the "Five Love Languages." The five love languages as stated by Dr. Chapman are,

Words of affirmation

Quality time

Receiving gifts

Acts of service

Physical touch

Voice 2

Some peoples' love language is words of affirmation. This means that they feel love most when other people say kind words to them.

Voice 1

But, some people need something else to feel love. Some peoples' love language is quality time. To feel loved, these people enjoy spending time with others.

Voice 2

Other peoples' love language is receiving gifts. These people feel the most loved when someone gives them a gift. It does not matter what the gift is. The gift represents love.

Voice 1

There are other people whose main love language is acts of service. They feel loved when other people do nice things for them.

Voice 2

But, there is one last love language, physical touch.

Voice 1

Today's Spotlight ends our series on love languages. And we will describe the love language physical touch. People, whose love language is physical touch feel loved when they receive loving touches.

Voice 2

In your body you have thousands of small, feeling receptors. These receptors lie just under your skin. They cover your body. When something touches your skin, the receptors receive the message. Then they send the message to your brain. Your brain translates the message and turns the message into a feeling. So, we can feel if something is hot or cold, soft or hard. We can feel pain and we can feel pleasure. Our feeling receptors are so exact, that we can even feel if a touch is loving or hostile.

Voice 1

Every person physically feels touch in the same way - through these nerve receptors. But for people whose love language is physical touch, touch is especially important. They especially feel loved when they receive loving touches, and especially hurt when they receive hostile ones.

Voice 2

What is a loving touch? Well in our story Ana felt a loving touch when her husband rubbed her hand. But, touches are different for every person. What may be a loving touch for one person may not be a loving touch for another person. Touching people in ways they do not like to be touched does not express love. It is important to touch people in ways that make them feel loved.

Voice 1

Loving touches can be simple. You could place your hand on your friend's shoulder and give a little squeeze. Or, you could take your friend's hand into yours. A loving touch may be rubbing someone's feet or back. Or it could be holding someone close if she is feeling sad. Dr. Chapman explains the importance of physical touch.

Voice 5

"Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. To the person whose main love language is physical touch, a touch will speak far louder than the words, "I hate you" or "I love you." A hit in the face is very harmful to any child. But it can destroy a child whose main love language is touch. A soft hug with your arms communicates love to any child. But it shouts love to the child whose main love language is physical touch. The same is true for adults."

Voice 2

For adults who are married, Dr. Chapman explains another form of physical touch: sexual touch. Inside of marriage, one way a husband and a wife can express their love to each is through sex. For a husband or a wife whose main love language is physical touch, sex is very important.

Voice 1

For example, Pete and Patsy were married. But their marriage was not going well. Patsy's love language is quality time. But Pete was never home. Pete's love language is physical touch. But Patsy did not know this about Pete. Patsy cleaned the house and cooked good meals for Pete. She thought this would make Pete happy. And it did, sometimes. But, there was something missing for Pete. And that was physical touch.

Voice 2

Pete often felt rejected by Patsy. It seemed like she did not enjoy his touches. They rarely had sex. So, Pete did not feel like Patsy loved him. His way to deal with rejection was to stay away from home. So Patsy felt alone.

Voice 1

One day Pete and Patsy went to a marriage counselor. The counselor explained the idea of love languages. Soon, Pete and Patsy were speaking each others' love language. Patsy began to give Pete loving physical touches. Because they were married this often meant having sex. But sometimes Patsy just gave Pete a hug. Pete felt loved. So, he began to spend more time with Patsy. They were finally speaking each others love languages. Their marriage improved!

Voice 2

Love languages are important. Everyone needs to feel loved. But, not everyone feels love in the same way. Kind words of affirmation. Quality time. Receiving gifts. Acts of service. Physical touch. What is your love language? What is your wife's or husband's love language? What love language do your friends speak? Learning the love languages of other people can make you even closer. To learn other peoples' love languages is to learn how to love them best.

Voice 1

The writer of today's program was Rebekah Schipper. The producer was Michio Ozaki. The voices you heard were from the United States. All quotes were adapted and voiced by Spotlight. Computer users can visit our website at http://www.radio.english.net to listen to more programs. The name of this program is "The Five Love Languages: Physical Touch."

*These names have been changed to protect privacy.



datvimaru50 said on September 06, 2010

Spotlight, thank you for your series about love language! Yes, Knowing love languages of our friends is important but how to know exactly what they are? Can you show me?


nello said on September 16, 2010

The name of this discipline is PNL┬░, or Neuroscience?

┬░Programmation Neuro Language.


Narath said on January 16, 2012

Could you give me more details about how to learn how to love them best ? I actually do not know what my love language is so I need to discover myself fist . Cambodia .


Skender said on January 18, 2012

I think that physical touch is the best love languages. I find meaningful an American expression which say: ‘actions speak louder than words’. If a relation between a man and woman isn’t going well, the best solution is sex. An Italian song say:
’ L’amore muore se non lo fai’ - which means that love die because luck of sex. After the sex everything is quite, any doubt that might exist in a relation disapear, and peace become part of the inner spirit of this couple.
Skender from Albania


thanhtran214 said on January 20, 2012

Thanks Dr Chapman again, and thanks all members of spotlightradio.
Skender I think you are right! hj


ferventprayer@gmail.com said on November 04, 2014

You can read Dr. Chapmans’ book to find out your loved one’s love languages;

Here is one link to an e-format: http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Heartfelt-Commitment-ebook/dp/B00F4KBJ8I/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1415096588&sr=8-3&keywords=five+love+languages.

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