Five Love Languages: Acts of Service


Painting of Jesus Washing Peter's Feet by Ford Madox Brown
Ford Madox Brown [Public domain]

This is the fourth program in a five part series about showing love to other people. Marina Santee and Adam Navis look at showing love to other people by caring for and serving each other.

Transcript


Voice 1

Thank you for joining us for today’s Spotlight. I’m Marina Santee.

Voice 2

And I'm Adam Navis. Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.

Voice 1

In today's program, we continue our series on love languages. In earlier programs, we talked about the first three love languages. Today's Spotlight is on the fourth love language: acts of service.

Voice 2

The Christian Bible has an important story about serving other people. This is a story of Jesus Christ. It shows how an act of service can be an act of love. The Bible says, "So Jesus got up from the meal and took off his outer clothes. He wrapped a cloth around his waist. After that, he poured water into a large round container. Then he began to wash his followers' feet. He dried them with the cloth.

Voice 1

Jesus washed each of their feet. And then he explained to them why he had. Jesus said, "Do you understand what I have done for you? You call me Teacher and Lord. You are right. That is what I am. I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet. So you also should wash one another's feet. I have given you an example. You should do as I have done for you."

Voice 2

Dr. Gary Chapman has studied the ways that people feel and receive love. He describes these love languages in his book the "Five Love Languages." According to Dr. Chapman, the five love languages are:

Kind words of affirmation.

Quality time

Receiving gifts

Acts of service

Physical touch

Voice 1

Dr. Chapman has found that not all people feel and receive love in the same way. He believes that expressing love to others means knowing their love language.

Voice 2

So far we have described the first three love languages: kind words of affirmation, quality time and receiving gifts. Today we will describe the fourth [4th]: acts of service. There are some people who feel the most loved when other people perform acts of service for them.

Voice 1

So, what are acts of service? Well, Jesus gave us a good example. He washed the dirtiest part of his followers' bodies - their feet!

Voice 2

Many people do not like to touch other people's feet! Many times they are not nice to touch. Feet can be cold with hard skin. People may have strange looking feet. And other people's feet may smell bad! In some cultures showing the bottom of your foot to someone is an insult.

Voice 1

In Jesus time, a paid servant or slave would wash visitors' feet. By washing his followers' feet, Jesus was saying that he was their servant. He was their leader, but he was also willing to do the difficult and unpleasant jobs.

Washing their feet was an act of service. It was an act of love. In this example, Jesus shows us that acts of service are not always easy. They are not always enjoyable.

Voice 2

Jesus does not ask us to wash the feet of all the people we love. But, he does ask us to love other people through acts of service. This means that we may have to do things that we do not like to do.

Voice 1

There are many examples of acts of service. But acts of service require that you act out of love for someone else. You could cook a meal. You could wash clothes. You could help to take care of children, take care of problems in the house, or make sure that things are working correctly. Acts of service require thought, planning time, effort and energy.

Voice 2

Performing acts of service should not require anything in return. That is, you should not expect people to do something for you just because you did something for them.

Voice 1

Mary* and Mark* had been married for many years. But, their marriage was not happy. According to Dr. Chapman, it was because Mary and Mark did not speak each other's love language. Mary criticized Mark for hunting. She wished Mark would help her around the house more. And Mark felt like he deserved to go hunting. He worked hard to raise money for his family all week. And he enjoyed hunting for a little while at the end of the week.

Voice 2

Dr. Chapman listened to both Mary and Mark. He discovered that Mark's love language is kind words of affirmation. And Mary's love language is acts of service. Mark would feel more love if Mary encouraged him. And Mary would feel more love if Mark would help her a little more. But instead of expressing their needs, Mark and Mary chose to argue. Mary would criticize Mark about hunting. And Mark felt sad about Mary's criticism.

Voice 1

Dr. Chapman knew that Mary did not hate when Mark went hunting. Criticizing Mark about hunting was just Mary's way of asking for love. Mark did not understand this about Mary. So, he acted out of anger.

Voice 2

Dr. Chapman explains that when people criticize they are actually expressing a real need--a need for love. He suggests that when people criticize you, that you should listen closely to them. That is because they are telling you what they need most. They are telling you what their love language is. Dr. Chapman does not suggest criticizing others. He says that people should always express their needs in a kind way.

Voice 1

Dr. Chapman asked Mary to stop criticizing Mark. Instead, he told Mary to express her needs to Mark.

Voice 2

Next, Dr. Chapman helped Mark to learn Mary's love language. Mark began to help Mary more around the house. He did not always like the work. But, he knew that he was serving Mary out of love.

Voice 1

Soon, Mark and Mary found that they both felt loved. Their marriage improved. Mary stopped criticizing Mark. In fact, she liked that Mark felt happy when he went hunting. And she told Mark that. Mark felt encouraged. And he found that he enjoyed helping Mary around the house. He enjoyed loving Mary in this way.

Voice 2

Jesus gave us a good example of how we can serve other people by performing acts of service. Sometimes loving other people means doing thing we do not like to do. It may even mean we touch someone else's feet!

Voice 1

The writer of today's program was Rebekah Schipper. The producer was Michio Ozaki. Computer users can hear more Spotlight programs on our website at http://www.radio.english.net. This program is called "The Five Love Languages: Acts of Service."

Voice 2

If you have a comment or a question for Spotlight, please contact us. Our email address is radio@english.net. Or, you can leave a comment on the script page for this program on our website. We hope you can join us again for the next Spotlight program. Goodbye!

*These names have been changed to protect privacy.

Comments


Avatar Spotlight
Narath
said on January 16, 2012

I think that most of people can do everything for people who they love even they do not like to do it, but it must deep hurt inside if they demand anything in return . If you really love someone you must not demand anything . Cambodia

Avatar Spotlight
Skender
said on January 21, 2012

Acts of serving makes us love the people who do these acts. For instance when we go in a masage center and we receive a good service there, we feel good and we apreciate the worker who did it. The same feeling is when my child walk over my back and push my body. This is an act of service that my child did for me, and so I love him.